Life Takes Detours

A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning....

Baby Bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty.

'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks.

Poppa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty.

'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars.

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells,

'For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with you idiots? It was Momma Bear who got up first. It was Momma Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Momma Bear who made the coffee. It was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Momma Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen. It was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper and croissants. It was Momma Bear who set the damn table.

'It was Momma Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.

'And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-rumps downstairs and grace Momma Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this once....



'I HAVEN'T MADE THE ..... PORRIDGE YET"!!